I'm in a bottomless hole. Stuck here. Can't see even a ray of light above. Pitch black. Anything I do just exhausts me. I have given up the idea of fighting. I just want this torture to end soon. I'm not crying over superficial things. I am crying because of things that cannot be changed. I'm damaged beyond repair. Broken.
Is this what pain feels like?
Or am I just suffering from some mental-disease?
Either ways I want it to end. The way my heart feels like it is being squeezed everytime somebody asks how I feel. The way I cry when I'm alone. How I feel like harming myself. How, at night, I fight down the strong urge to cut myself or even kill myself. How I avoid looking at my family because they remind me of everything I lost.
Chikoo, thank God u left us. You are in a far better place than we are. This place is awful.
You shouldve taken me with u.
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone